不好：In China, some education enterprises conducted online education with a slogan of overturning traditional education.
较好：In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.
不好：I believe device A more than device B.
较好：I believe device A would be more effective than device B.
不好：These enterprises faded away from the market as time went by.
较好：Over time, these enterprises faded away from the market.
不好：We have seen statistics from the Ministry of Education of China showing that the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87% by 2016.
较好：Statistics from the Ministry of Education of China have shown that, by 2016, the Internet access rate of elementary and high schools in China had reached 87%.
不好：I have observed these achievements, and I have gradually decided my directions of career development in order to make good contributions to the field of mechanical engineering.
较好：I have observed these achievements, which inspired me to direct my career development to contribute positively to the field of mechanical engineering.
不好：They failed due to their partial understanding of the “technology” concept.
较好：They failed due to their partial understanding of the role of technology.
错误：These technologies, regardless soft or hard, are useful.
正确：These technologies, whether soft or hard, are useful.
这类问题造成用词偏多，篇幅过长。纠正这类问题时，不仅需要把“in order to”简化为“to”，而且需要从用词结构上予以简化。学术写作应当力求简洁精炼。
不好：This experience was the motivation for me to pursue study in mechanical engineering.
较好：This experience motivated me to pursue study in mechanical engineering
不好：This is an important stage during the growth of children.
较好：This is an important stage in children’s growth.
不好：There are powerful voices to call for changes in systems engineering.
较好：Powerful voices are calling for changes in systems engineering.
不好：Changing people’s perception of the nature of systems engineering is the key to the success of making positive changes in system science.
较好：The key to making positive changes in system science is transforming the perception of the nature of systems engineering.
这类问题涉及以“Only after”、“Only if”、“Only in this way”等开头的句子。
错误：Only by changing the work condition, it is possible for them to finish the project.
正确：Only by changing the work condition, is it possible for them to finish the project.
不强调否定：The performance or the durability of the engine has not been changed.
强调否定：Neither the performance nor the durability of the engine has been changed.
不好：I thought the reason was that I was not fluent in German.
较好：I thought this was because I was not fluent in German.
不好：The reason for the engineers to choose this software was that they wanted fast computation.
较好：The engineers have chosen this software because they wanted fast computation.
修饰关系清晰性不好：Some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education in China.
修饰关系清晰性较好：In China, some education enterprises described their work as overturning traditional education and conducted online education.
语意连续性不好：I received support from my parents when I was young in learning math.
语意连续性较好：When I was young, my parents supported me in learning math.
特意强调性不好：I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering during my four years of undergraduate study.
特意强调性较好：During my four years of undergraduate study, I studied in Shanghai in mechanical engineering.
不好：His effort will be rewarded with his careful plan and persistent pursuing.
较好：His effort will be rewarded as he pursues his careful plan with persistence.
不好：The gas temperature was measured with the thermocouple.
较好：The gas temperature was measured using the thermocouple.
不好：The oxygen concentration was measured by using an oxygen sensor.
较好：The oxygen concentration was measured using an oxygen sensor.
错误：I found that there were numerous tools originated from modern technology.
正确：I found that there were numerous tools that had originated from modern technology.
不好：There are great differences between the children receiving quality-oriented education and the children receiving exam-oriented education.
较好：There are great differences between children who receive quality-oriented education and those who receive exam-oriented education.
不好：Some technologies are easy to be mastered and implemented by these companies.
较好：Some technologies are easy for these companies to master and implement.
错误：The analysis focus was on passing inspection.
正确：The analysis focus was passing inspection.
错误：The temperature is at 100 °C.
正确：The temperature is 100 °C.
错误：The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated by reducing heat transfer losses.
正确：The reduction in thermal efficiency caused by friction can be compensated for by reducing heat transfer losses.
错误：I searched solutions.
正确：I searched for solutions.
错误：They developed the product with joint efforts of external teams.
正确：They developed the product in a joint effort with external teams.
错误：I was admitted to the Ph.D. program of Chemistry in Washington University in 2012.
正确：In 2012, I was admitted to the Ph.D. program in Chemistry at Washington University.
错误：He provided an answer for this question.
正确：He provided answer to this question.
不好：The temperature drop leads to the reduction of thermal efficiency.
较好：The temperature drop leads to the reduction in thermal efficiency.
错误：The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with the inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.
正确：The maximum efficiency was 80%, obtained with an inlet gas velocity of 12 m/s.
错误：At a temperature above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.
正确：At temperatures above 300 ℃, the thermal efficiency decreased slightly.
不好：The measurement point A was at the dust collector inlet.
较好：The measurement point A was at the dust collector’s inlet.
错误：I read the books of “Principles of Vibration” and《Fluid Mechanics》.
正确：I read Principles of Vibration and Fluid Mechanics.
错误：I wrote a thesis titled Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions.
正确：I wrote a thesis titled “Engine Performance Analysis at High-Altitude Conditions”.